Blog

Chazonator

I'm not dead. Lady GaGa isn't always right, and gays don't have to support illegal immigration!

Dear friends, It?s been forever since I last blogged. I apologize for my long absence, and the sparse amount of time I intend to spend online in the future. My life isn?t changing. I am changing my life. My priorities are changing. I?ve been so busy fighting for equal rights in this country that I have not taken the time to really enjoy the wonderful rights that I do have, such as the freedom to pursue happiness with my family. For all the rights that bigoted, fake, Christians want to deny everyone like me and my family, there is one thing they cannot ever take away, and that is our happiness. I have so much love in my home. I am so blessed with a partner and two children who love me so much. I don?t need anything else, and I never did. That doesn?t mean that I will stop expecting people to treat me with the same respect I give them. Nobody steps on my toes without learning a lesson. That will never change.

The face of gay activism is changing, and it?s not as pretty as it should be, in my observation. Men who never put on a speck of make up are dressing up in drag as cartoon characters to protest prop 8. I understand that they want to be anonymous and there?s still a lot to fear, but it?s not a circus parade, it?s a civil rights protest. Save that shit for the pride parade, but don?t bring ridiculous, stereotypical shit to a marriage protest. It?s just plain stupid and does nothing for the cause of equality for anyone but freaks, which we are already viewed as by too many true freaks of society as it is. You want respect? Look respectable! It?s a good fucking place to start! You won?t see me showing up at a gay rights protest in full make up or a thong. There?s a time and a place for everything. The time and place for those things is after dark in a gay bar, or perhaps on your personal you tube page.

3 years ago Lady GaGa was nothing but a concept directed at the LGBT demographic which makes up a large portion of record sales. Now she?s the icon of the equality movement. I always applaud the efforts of any celeb who has the guts to come out of the closet. The problem is that the big celebs tend to be given a pedestal on which to speak on behalf of ALL LGBT people. What I?ve discovered is that it?s really not such a good thing. Not all gays agree with Lady GaGa. Many gays find her taste and her music to be overly sensationalized and too hypersexual for the teens who worship her, and the fans she calls ?little monsters?. While I doubt that I will ever stop loving Lady GaGa or her music, I can?t say that I really like her form of activism, or the belittling way she refers to her fans. I am nobody?s ?little? anything. I?m just a guy who likes her songs. Nothing less and certainly nothing more in her busy eyes. I?m a grown man and I don?t need society thinking that a pop icon with a hot ass is the speaking for me. I?ve been speaking for myself since GaGa was a fetus. Her latest attempt to tie the LGBT equality movement with a pro illegal alien agenda is twisted.

Gays and illegal immigration:

Gays have the right to oppose illegal immigration, and the severe damage it causes society and our economy, without our most prominent speakers trying to make us all sound like we?re in the same boat with those who crossed our borders illegally. We?re not. Illegal aliens can always get married, as long as they?re straight, and there?s nothing wrong with that. ALL American citizens should be able to marry whoever they want, regardless of where they are from. What pisses me off is that gays and lesbians receive less rights that illegal aliens, under our constitution. That?s fucked up! Regardless of how you feel about illegal immigration, you can?t deny the fact that heterosexual illegal aliens have the right to marry, in any state, in the USA and gays and lesbians do not. That?s not a reason to hate illegal aliens. I would never suggest that anyone do that. However, we must not be blind to the fact that there are an estimated 12-20 million people in this country who are using the emergency room as a family doctor, raising medical and insurance costs for us all. They are receiving food stamps and medical cards that are being paid for with tax dollars of hard working US citizens. For every single illegal alien who is breaking the law to be here, there is a legal immigrant, at the back of the line, waiting for his application to be approved. Would you let someone cut in line in front of you? I sure as hell wouldn?t! Legal immigration benefits all Americans. Illegal immigration opens the door to identity theft, increased unemployment and overburdened local, state and Federal programs designed to help America?s poor, not every poor person who hates their own country so much they come here for a free handout. You don?t have to agree with me. You can call me a racist, but you?d be wrong. I haven?t mentioned race in this blog at all. Go back and read it again if you think I did.

The Facts:

Anyone who calls me a racist for my realistic view on illegal immigration is in denial of the facts. While it?s true that an estimated 75% of illegal immigrants cross the Mexican border, it is also a fact that not all of those illegals are Mexican. In fact, Mexico is just the corrupt gateway with coyotes and drug lords and human sex traffickers of choice because the border is so porous. That?s not the fault of illegal aliens. That blame lies squarely on our own government and to each and every citizen who has supported the slave trade on the border for decades. There are 300 Million people living in the USA. Our country was attacked, within our own borders on 9/11. We all have a responsibility to make our voices heard on border security. We cannot address it without addressing the hundreds of thousands of illegal aliens, who could be coming here to harm us, via our most lethal border. I?ve been speaking up, publicly for increased border security and enforcement of the Federal immigration laws that are already on the books since 2007. This issue is only going to get worse, so I strongly advise everyone to brace yourselves. Without a government that has the balls to enforce the laws we already have, there is little hope of a resolution anytime soon. Until then, racism will rear it?s ugly head, on both sides of the debate, while our border remains insecure and tax payers continue to fund the education, medical care, food stamps, and criminal legal fees for those who broke our law the moment they overstayed their visa or crossed the border without a legal right to do so.

I realize that not everybody agrees with me, and you have that right. However, to address it before it happens?. I am not a racist. I lived in South America. I speak fluent Spanish. I love my friends from all corners of the globe. At the same time, I am a patriot and I love the country that I was legally born into and call home. If you want to disconnect from me because we disagree on any issue, that is your prerogative. Just know that it takes a very weak person to pull the race card and dismiss me, based on my opinions. I never say anything because it?s popular. While it?s true that there is no shortage of fat, lazy Americans, I know, first hand that there is no lack of fat, lazy, illegal aliens out there who are milking the system and not putting anything into it. I can?t judge all people by the actions of a few, but that doesn?t stop those who oppose my views from doing so. To call me a lazy American, or a cracker or a honkey, is just plain ignorant, and I?ve got no time for that shit. Truth be told, I am half Native American, so all of you can just pack up and get the fuck off of my land!!!!! LOL Seriously though, you don?t see Native Americans trying to turn back time and reclaim the land that was conquered from them. My ancestors never enslaved anyone. Native Americans continue to struggle in their own battles for civil equality in the USA. Until we secure the freedoms of those who belong here, we shouldn?t be advocating for unearned rights of those who are stealing jobs, social services and educational opportunity from our own families. Don?t agree? Fine. Agree to disagree respectfully if you want any respect from me.

I am no longer a gay activist. I no longer make gay news videos. I am just a fellow American citizen with an axe to grind in the occasional blog. I have nothing to gain or lose by speaking my mind. What you see is what you get. Don?t like it? Don?t let the door hit on you the way out! Get it? Got it? Good!

As always, you can check out my official website at www.chazonator.com to learn more about gay rights, activism and how I evolved into who I am today.

Chazonator on 2010-05-21T11:38:08.069-07:00

Gay Mafia XXX-Posed!

The real ?Gay Mafia?

I?ve been doing my research all week. I?m trying to uncover the reality behind the term ?Gay Mafia?. I learned, very quickly, that I was looking in the wrong place, at first. You see, I get letters from people, all the time, who tell me that they?ve reached out to an LGBT organization for help and were either turned away, or offered very little help. I thought, perhaps, there was some kind of inter discrimination going on there. What I?m finding, more often than not, is that these charitable organizations are under-funded, for them most part. It?s hard for a lawyer to take on your case, pro bono, if that lawyer already has 10 cases running, and a career to maintain. Many of these organizations are made up of volunteers, many of whom are legal professionals. What I?m learning about myself, as an LGBT activist, is that I have a responsibility to unite my friends in our fight for equality. That includes individuals, and organizations. I am not about to bash any LGBT organization, and I?m not going to bash any LGBT individual. That would be counterproductive and hypocritical of me.

The gay porn industry is the driving force behind the ?Gay Mafia?. Not because it is sexual. Not because the men are too young to drink, but just old enough to get killed in Iraq. I was only 19 years old when I did my first porn flick. I don?t regret doing what I had to do to survive. What I regret, is the fact that one of the biggest influences on the LGBT community, is also one of the most opportunistic and monstrous element of it. Porno pays crap! Don?t believe any porn star who tells you that he?s making millions of dollars shooting porno. You can merchandise all you want, but the fact remains that gay porn is as common as candy, these days. There is not even such a thing as a gay porn star anymore. This isn?t the 80?s when the only porno anyone watched came in the form of a VHS tape with a hot cover. International porn releases can happen in the time it takes to upload your own home sex video. Unless you?re already a star, your sex tape isn?t going to sell very well. So do yourself a favor and keep your clothes on! It?s the porno company that is making a fortune, not the ?porn star?. A really good video can sell, big time, in retail outlets, world wide. Making the cover, as an adult actor, can give you international recognition. It can also bring you stalkers. The porno company that paid you a few hundred dollars to have sex, on camera, can potentially earn hundreds of thousands on your image, but they won?t be there for you when the stalkers show up. They won?t pay you enough to improve your personal security at all. The gay porn industry sets the ?Ken doll? standard that almost none of us can live up to. It?s the airbrushed abs, teeth, and faces that fill our gay magazines with impossible heights of male beauty that nobody can reach. Sure, there are some real beauties out there, but so few of them are physically perfect, and even fewer of those are capable of carrying on a conversation without being distracted by themselves. Shallow much?

So, the answer to the question ?Is there a Gay Mafia?? is yes. The over funded gay porn industry victimizes young men by paying them next to nothing for signing their futures away. The damage they cause with the fake image of male perfection that makes so many gay men stick their fingers down their throats, has got to go. Until we, as a community, decide that we will no longer fund these freak factories, we are destined to have them controlling and defining our own body image. So, take that money you were saving for that nasty gay porn DVD, and put a down payment on the future of a young gay man or woman who doesn?t need or want another hand down their pants, but rather, a hand up from the elders in our community who care more about helping our youth than exploiting them for a buck.

Chazonator on 2010-05-17T13:23:54.587-07:00

Ted Haggard Vs George Rekers. What the mainstream media isn't telling you

Chazonator on 2010-05-15T12:37:46.358-07:00

George Reker's second rent boy! More than just another Z list celebrity.....

Well, nobody ever accused me of being professional, but not credible? Let?s not go there! I welcome the opportunity to respond to any legitimate claim that I have ever told a lie about anything. Bring it on. If there is one thing I pride myself in, it is the honesty that I bring to my citizen journalism. I am a public figure, and I?ve often laughed about my own, self professed, Z list celebrity status. I know my place in the world. Here are some basic facts about me that you may find surprising.




1) I have only one conviction on my criminal record, and that is from 1986. I was sentenced to a year of supervision after I punched a guy in the face for calling me a bitch.



2) I do not profit from any of my online activities. The software and samples I use to create my songs, videos and graphics, exceed thousands of dollars, which I have paid, over the course of the last few years. Neither my CD sales, nor adsense revenue from my website or video hosting site have come close to covering the cost of the software used to create them. Therefore, I am not seeking any monetary profit from my online activism. What little revenue that is generated through my online media is currently used to cover the cost of domain registration and site hosting. If you think I am getting rich on my LGBT demographic, think again. My friends are not stupid. I do not beg for money. What I give them costs absolutely nothing for them to enjoy, and pays me nothing monetarily.



3) I am not a member of any LGBT organization. I am an independent artist. I choose to be independent, in order to be free of the corporate binds that tie up so many media outlets and control what we see and hear, in the news. This independence affords me, as an individual, all the freedom of the press, as well as the individual rights covered under the US constitution, regarding free speech and expression. I am not contracted with any commercial entity, nor do I wish to be. My goal is not to become a TV star. My goal is to have a lasting affect on the LGBT movement for equality, by providing uniquely informative and under reported news stories with my own, personal commentary. I?m the rogue, Internet version of Rachel Maddow, Keith Olberman,, and Lou Dobbs, rolled into one big mouthed, bisexual package. The difference is, there is no corporation cutting me a check, so you can be sure that I am telling you the truth, as I see it. I cannot be bought.



4) I didn?t just get over 44,000 myspace friends overnight. I?m not just a has been who never was. I have actively reached out to gays and lesbians on myspace since 2007, when I was the host of a local FM radio show, which I produced, entirely, called ?Techno-Tronica Live?. Before I was asked to resign from my voluntary position as a show host at WRLR 98.3 LPFM Round Lake Heights, IL, I had built up quite a following on myspace. I began blogging about anything and everything, and reading blogs by friends. I began to understand the potential uses of social networking as a method of grass roots activism. I was asked to host a radio show for RGIN, (Radio Gay International Network). Click the following link to hear my pod cast: http://technotronica.podomatic.com/entry/2009-03-13T15_48_19-07_00

I began pod casting my show, which aired, live, with a webcam chat, twice a week, for months. I had a free Podomatic account that locked up because listeners had gone over the bandwidth included in the free package. I decided I needed to go bigger, if I was really going to reach everyone who wanted to hear what I had to say. After leaving RGIN, I started producing ?Naked Truth Gay News In Review?, my online video series.



The concept of Naked Truth Gay News In Review?.



The whole idea came to me one day when I was relaxing in my Jacuzzi. As I watched my friends list on myspace grow into the thousands, I wondered how I could keep all these people happy. What could I do, or say that would make every one of them feel like they are a part of my world? How could I capture and keep the attention of thousands of people, online, who never met me before? Then, it hit me, BAM! I could make a video series, right here at home, in which I tell them everything I would tell any friend over the phone. Most of my friends added me because I am so vocal about LGBT equality, so it only made sense to cover the gay news. But what kind of gay news, and how to cover it? I relied heavily on the blogosphere and 365gay.com for news stories that the mainstream media wasn?t covering, or just not covering enough of, or from the right angle. I gave each story my own, unique twist and shared my pithy opinions on each, sometimes not with much pleasure. My friends loved it so much that they started sharing my videos with their friends, who added me on myspace, and that?s how it all got to where it is today. The videos are amateur, I admit. I have an HD handi cam, but I actually prefer the raw look of a webcam. Someday, it will be retro, and maybe, when equality is shared by all, historians will look back and actually give citizen journalists like me a little credit for furthering our movement, and not backing down to political or corporate interests. Maybe??.



For now, let it not be ignored that the gay mafia has never taken me into the fold. I am not one of the voices that the select few, in charge of who gets airtime, want you to hear. I?m just not gay enough to appear on Ellen, or LOGO, and I?m no where near straight enough to show up on anything else. I guess the only good thing about being me is that I can get recognized by my LGBT family, almost anywhere, but yet I?m not typecast as anybody?s ?it? boy. I am my own man, and it will always be that way. Regardless who likes it or not. That being said, I?ve heard a wild rumor that there are people who claim they never heard of me. Hmmm. Well, obviously, you don?t have any LGBT friends on myspace, cause last I checked almost every LGBT person on there has. Before last week, I had never heard the name George Rekers mentioned in any gay media, nor had I ever heard of an organization called Truth Wins Out. If you?ve read this far, well, you have heard of me. In fact, you?ve heard from the only authoritative source. I?ve got no agent, no record label, no desire for 15 minutes of fame as a gay whore, and certainly no interest in making any money on any cause I fight for. So there!



In my next episode of Naked Truth Gay News In Review, I will be investigating the Gay Mafia, in attempt to answer the following questions. Tell me what you think. Leave a comment below.



1) Is there a gay mafia?



2) What would be the purpose of a gay mafia?



3) Who?s running the gay mafia, and who sponsors them?



4) Is the gay mafia doing more harm than good, with regards to the LGBT movement for equality in the USA?



5) Are gay voices being silenced or censored by the gay mafia? If so, how? And why?



6) Does the gay mafia actually perpetuate gay on gay hate?



I?ll also be addressing the whole ex-gay movement, and including real video footage of a man who not only founded one of the most prominent ex gay foundations, he left it in 1979 to be with his gay lover, and still speaks out against the atrocities that continue to occur there. You won?t want to miss the next show, which I anticipate will be uploaded to chazonator.com on May 21st, to coincide with the launching of a Canadian web syndicate that will be adding my videos to their program line up. Some of you may remember some pod casts I did for indietalent.ca last year called ?Naked Truth World News In Review?, in which I discussed world news stories and then ranted about them, in my usual way. The site is going global and expanding into television and radio, and they want to take my little gay news series with them. You will not notice any changes in my Gay News format, and there will be no censorship of my reports by anyone. No financial contracts have been signed, and I am under no obligation to perform to anybody?s expectations, other than my own. That?s the way I like it.



Here?s the last episode of the show:

Chazonator on 2010-05-12T12:18:32.453-07:00

The gay mafia strikes again, this time with deafening silence...

A few blogs ago, I talked about the ?Gay Mafia? and how they seem to shun me. This couldn?t be clearer than it is right now. When I came forward about the sexual encounter I had with George Rekers, the gay media ate it up and spread it like a barebacker with AIDS. Now, they are calling for a coalition of LGBT organizations to stand behind Rekers Rent Boy. Lucien, the escort pictured watching Rekers handle his own luggage, has gays lining up to offer him all the help he needs. I am so glad that he has people looking out for him. Personally, I have no need for any legal services, and Rekers can sue me and lose, all the way to town. What I want to know is this. Would it hurt any of these, so called, activists for equality, to e mail me and ask, ?Chaz, how are you doing?? I guess my dick size and safe sex interests are good enough to turn Rekers on, but I?d have to get a time machine and go back to being a 20 year old twink if I really expect any LGBT organization to give a damn about my feelings or how I might be holding up.




Maybe it?s because I?m bi. The biggest secret in the LGBT community is that the BT are at the end of that acronym because they are truly not a part of the community, as a whole. Unless the majority want to fuck you, or view you as relationship material, they don?t do shit for you. I spent the greater part of my young, adult life getting sucked off for food because of fags like this who won?t give anyone a hand up unless they can get a hand down his pants. I am done with you fuckers! When my side of this story is finally proven, it will be a cold day in hell before I ever become a spokesperson for any agency that doesn?t give a shit about me today, and they can take that to the fucking bank and make a deposit today! I am filled with LGBT pride, but I have to say that the organizations that are supposed to assist us against discrimination, are only assisting themselves to the LOGO network and any TV appearance they can get to raise money. Money that is not being used properly, in my opinion. I used to donate to the ACLU, until the one time I needed advice and they turned me away. Now, I donate to nobody, period. I look at it this way. These assholes aren?t helping me finance the cost of raising my children, why the hell should I help them finance their worthless organization that will never bring anything better to our lives at all? We can donate thousands of dollars to these organizations, or we can give it directly to someone in need. I find the latter far more affective, and life changing.



Just who do these ?equality? foundations really work for? Have you ever received any assistance from them for a false arrest by a cop who just wanted to harass a homo? Have you ever been offered the pro bono services of a civil rights lawyer after being fired from a job? Of course not. Unless your case makes big headlines or involves a potential damage settlement that is quite large, these fags don?t even wanna know you exist! That?s not equality. That?s opportunism. If this is the example that the gay mafia is setting for our community, then it?s no wonder there is so much inter-discrimination among us. If you?re not in the mainstream headlines, they?re not going to use you to advertise how much they care about ?the average gay?. No ad revenue? No representation! Simple as that. Most ?charities? are just money laundering facades.



The LGBT community is filled with fuck ups and double standards, just like every other community. Christians back bite, judge and hate on each other. Hispanics differentiate between high and low class by the shade of skin. Jews look down on anyone marrying, outside the religion, and so on. Gays are no different. Lesbians hate gay men. Gay men hate lesbians. Gays hate bisexuals, and gays, lesbians and bisexuals often refuse to get along with the transgendered among us. It is this divisiveness that has kept us all down for so long. When we finally get to a point, in which we all view each other as equal, we will be on a direct route to equality. Until then, we?re just a bunch of bitches, fighting each other, against our own common cause. Being bisexual does not mean I am confused. The confused person is the one who thinks that where I put my dick is any of his or her business. It no longer shocks me, how fast gay men jump to bash me for being bi, without a second thought of how much bashing they get for being gay. Look in the mirror before bashing anyone, and if you look closely enough, you will realize that nobody has the right to judge anyone who enjoys consenting sex with another adult. Sex workers are people too. It may not be your cup of tea, but it?s the oldest profession in history. I?ve never met a sexually active adult who hasn?t either paid for or exchanged sex for something of value to them. We are all whores, to some degree. The most common whore is the love whore. The love whore will do things they don?t want to do, in order to keep their love alive. They have sex with a headache, or let their partner choose a position they don?t prefer. What do they get in return for their sexual favors? They get relationship security. When I was a sex worker, I only wanted security. The security that comes from knowing you will survive another week, because you just managed to feed yourself. Unlike the love whore, I was always up front and honest about what I wanted and what I was willing to give. Most sex workers are very honest people. It?s society who wants to label them as scum. It?s like the gay marriage issue really. Somehow, some gays seem to think that where I put my penis has an affect on who they are and who they love and how they love them. Unless I?m sticking it in your husband, who I have sex with, and why, is nobody?s business.



Gays need to stop hating on Christians too. There are many gay Christians out there who want to continue their faith. It is not an oxymoron. You can be gay and Christian, and live a perfectly normal, happy life. There are enough fake Christians out there, discriminating like the devil. We don?t need non spiritual gays bashing as well. I am not a Christian, but I?ll be damned if I will sit back and let anyone bash someone who is. So leave people to believe whatever they choose, as long as it?s not hurting you. And if you are a Christian, don?t let these scandals get you down. If anything, it should only serve to remind you that God created us all, even the closet cased preachers who hate on us.



Oh, and one last thing. Dan Savage is a gay activist with a huge following. He is clumping Rekers into the same basket as Ted Haggard. For as famous as any, individual, gay activist may be, they do not represent us all. The fact is that Ted Haggard has become a strong advocate for equality and a friend to gays. It?s just cold hearted and unforgiving to keep twisting a knife in his back, after all these years. There comes a time when people who have made mistakes are done paying for them. It?s time for Savage and others like him to get over it. If these, most famous, activists among us, had been talking about the current enemies of the LGBT community, and putting faces like Rekers in the spotlight, I would have come forward long ago. The reason I do my gay news videos is because of this very fact. The gay mafia controls what you read on their corporate sites. They are partially to blame for our current lack of rights. If they would focus on those who are actively fighting our equality, rather than continuing to beat a dead horse, perhaps we can actually make a difference! Until then, they are just a bunch of corrupt squirrels trying to get a nut! I am filled with gay pride, but I am deeply ashamed of the Gay Mafia and the double standards by which they operate these organizations that actually keep us down, more than they lift us up.

Chazonator on 2010-05-11T15:18:48.862-07:00

I am the original Rekers Rent Boy!!!!

Are you ready for a shocker? I?m not, but here goes. As many of my friend and fans know, I am a former porn star. What I haven?t discussed, at great lengths, is the occupation I used to feed myself in between video gigs. Yes, this is all in my past, but it continually pops up to haunt me, as life goes on. My most recent revelation involves a story that is becoming more prevalent, in the news. When I was young, and down and out, and in desperate need of income, I did some things that I?m not particularly proud of. I was a whore. I used gay magazine ads and a beeper to generate my clientele, which consisted, mainly, of married men. I had my specific limitations, and my rules were very strict. I never kissed, sucked dick, or got fucked. No matter how poor I was, I was not about to risk getting an STD that I couldn?t afford to get rid of. Here?s the shocker. One of my clients was none other than Professor George Rekers. I had no idea, until this story broke, that this man was the anti gay activist that he is. Now that I am aware of the damage he has caused the LGBT community, I realize that it is my responsibility to set the record straight. George Rekers is neither gay, nor straight. He is bisexual, like myself. Unfortunately, Rekers is also at odds with his faith, and therefore cannot come to terms with his sexuality, privately or publicly. You don?t have to take my word for it, and I openly admit that my word is all that I have. Before I describe my encounter with Rekers, in as much detail as possible, I want to make something very clear. I am not Mike Jones. I met Rekers one time only. I am not planning to write a book or do a one man show about my experience with him. I just want to clear the air and point out his hypocrisy, and that of those who are currently attempting to cover for him. Furthermore, Rekers is no Pastor Ted Haggard. Those who know me are aware that Ted Haggard has become a friend of mine. I believe Ted Haggard is a faithful husband to his wife. He is a dedicated Christian, and he is no enemy of gays. Ted Haggard has apologized, extensively, to the LGBT community for any intolerance of us that he caused before he was outted by prostitute Mike Jones. Yes, it?s a small world, friends, but not small enough to equate me to Mike Jones or Ted Haggard to George Rekers. With that in mind, here?s what happened.




In a city, in the USA, when I was in my 20?s, I committed the illegal act of prostitution with a man named George Rekers. To divulge more information regarding the time and place, at this time, would not benefit me, legally. I was sitting in my apartment, watching TV when my pager went off. It was a caller, responding to an ad I had placed in the escort/masseur section of a local gay magazine. The caller was George Rekers, and he told me his real name, a requirement I had for all of my clients who wanted ?outcall? service, meaning that I would travel to their hotel for a ?session?. If anything happened to me, the clients name and info would be sitting on my dresser for my roommate to find. Rekers was very specific about the kind of service he expected for the $150 he agreed to pay me. He insisted on only safe activity, and repeatedly asked me if I was ?clean?, meaning disease free. I assured him that I was. Rekers wanted a full body massage, and he wanted light, sexual contact. He referred to himself as being ?very vanilla?, which I later learned means, no oral or anal. As an escort, I remembered clients like this the most because they are easy money. I fulfilled his request, and by the time I was finished, there wasn?t a single part of his body that my hands had not touched. He wanted a light tickling of his skin, just barely touching his skin, as I glided my fingers up and down his spine, all the way into his crack. He shivered with pleasure with every stroke. I wasn?t in the habit of asking my clients any personal questions. I did, however, answer several questions George had for me. He was very curious to know more about my porno career, which, he had not previously been aware of. When I explained it to him, he seemed repulsed when I got into the details of the oral and anal sex scenes. I sensed that George was struggling with his sexuality, but I had no idea that he was a monster, until now.



I don?t care what the world says. They can call me a liar. They can call me a faggot. They can even call me a whore. What you can?t call me is a hypocrite. This is one situation in which I definitely take the side of the rent boy. This young man was just doing his job. He didn?t ask to get his picture taken or to be publicly outted. If you want to come after someone who knows that George Rekers is a closet case, bisexual man who hates himself and everyone else like him, then you can take my word for it. I?m not longer for rent, and I?m not a boy, but I?m no coward. George Rekers is the worst kind of coward, and I hope that others like me, who know this well, will come forward and share the truth about him.

Chazonator on 2010-04-27T11:26:30.947-07:00

A gay man spends 3 nights with Ted Haggard, and what happened?

Dear readers, I must admit that I when I went digging around in the Ted Haggard news story, I didn?t think that I would get so pulled into this ongoing saga. Mr. Haggard and his wife have actually become people who I consider to be my friends. They have been nothing short of gracious and kind and non judgmental of me, and I have returned that same respect. However, that being said, this letter is too juicy for me not to share with my friends and fans. I got this letter from a fan, and I struggled with whether or not to share it, publicly. It is dirty and nasty and sexy and all kinds of ?broke back mountain? action is taking place, in the mind of the writer. It reveals a story that I don?t believe the mainstream media has even bothered to cover. While there have been those who have profited greatly from the fall of Ted Haggard, it should not go unnoticed that there was at least one gay man who had a big crush on Ted Haggard. This man spent the night with Haggard three times. Read what happened in his own words, which were submitted to me via my contact form at chazonator.com




Chaz, I saw your Gay News video about Ted Haggard and I wanted to give you my opinion. First off, let me congratulate you on getting to the truth in your coverage. I never believed that Mike Jones had a three year long affair with Pastor Ted. I live in California now but a few years ago I worked for New Life Church and I got to be a traveling companion to Pastor Ted on three different occasions. He was warm, friendly and respectful. He never did anything that would ever lead me to believe that he was interested in guys at all. I think I know why he has been so controversial.



I felt an attraction to Pastor Ted the first moment I laid eyes on him. I wanted him, and I couldn?t help myself. I knew he was married and I knew it was wrong, but I wanted this man and I was determined to get him. I thought of ways to let him know how I felt. I planned how I would test him and see if he wanted me to. I fantasized about having an affair with Pastor Ted Haggard. For as much as my hard cock wanted it my conscience wouldn?t allow me to make a move on him. I gave him every opportunity to make an advancement on me. I remember waking up and finding him reading the bible on his treo, which is an older kind of I-phone. He would pace back and forth, in his boxers, and pray. One morning, I woke up with wood, and I saw him pacing back and forth. He was wearing different underware this time. They were tight and white. I could see the full impression of his cock and I swear, I almost came on myself just looking at him. As he walked back and forth his huge cock moved with his left leg and his balls jiggled inside his package. I couldn?t stop starring at him, and when he almost caught me I pretended that I was praying too. I was praying. Praying he would fuck me!



I don?t agree with anybody who says that Ted Haggard had a three year affair with anybody. This is so not the person I met. I was shocked to hear that Pastor Ted had sex with Mike Jones. I wished it had been me instead. I would never have made up those stories about him for anything. I would have done anything he wanted me to do and loved it. It?s easy to see how Mike Jones could turn a one time massage that ended in masturbation into a three year affair with Pastor Ted. I?ve often fantasized about a broke back mountain moment with him myself. I never witnessed Pastor Ted acting unusual towards anybody during the whole time I worked with him. He was a perfect gentleman, which is why his wife has stayed with him. He is a dream man. He is gorgeous, he is hung like a horse, and just the thought of a one night stand is enough to make any man fantasize of an LTR with Pastor Ted.





 

Chazonator on 2010-04-07T07:53:31.879-07:00

Oh look, there's a homeles man showing his penis to kids on the corner. It's ok! He's a recording artist!

You?re invited to my brand new, controversial, butt naked, video shoot. You see, my art isn?t strong enough to gain the attention that my cause requires, so I?m gonna get naked, get arrested, get some attention, and sell some records!!!! Yay!!!! The plan will go off without a hitch, and people will be talking about me for years to come, or until the next artist, one you?ve actually heard of before, does the same thing. I guess you can say that I was inspired by Madonna?s SEX book, back in the early 90?s. If it works for her, it?ll work for me, right? But the real question is, how does this work for you?




Ok, I?m just fucking with you. I have no intention of exposing my genitalia in public. I had you going, didn?t I? And while some of you might say, ?Fuck yeah Chaz! Show me yer cock n balls dude!? Others would ask, ?What kind of a parent exposes his naked body to children on the street?? I couldn?t blame either, or, for feeling the way they do, but I refuse to be bashed because of how I feel about this issue.





Yesterday, I posted a myspace status update condemning the decision by singer Erykah Badu to purposely get herself arrested for indecent exposure during her recent video shoot in Dallas TX. For the sake of ?art? and ?a cause?, Badu stripped off her clothing in public, in front of children. I?m not surprised that a lot of people are supporting her. When I was single and didn?t have two straight, teen sons with healthy sex drives and curiosity, I didn?t have a problem with public nudity either. What I didn?t expect was for one of my fans to call me a hypocrite. Yes, I use my sexuality in my art. No, I have never showed my dick or my asshole in any attempt to gain exposure for my music. That hasn?t stopped myspace from deleting my photos, and it didn?t stop you tube from deleting some of my videos, citing my sexy body as the reason. There is a definite double standard in the USA, in which it is more acceptable for a woman to get naked in public than it is for a man. Furthermore, being erotic and being naked are two separate things. The day I show my cock n balls online is the day that people can call me a hypocrite. Until then, they are just spewing crap out the side of their necks! Just because I am not ashamed of my body, it doesn?t give me a license to force the public to look at all of it. That?s not art. It?s indecent exposure, and there?s a reason it?s against the law. If Badu can get butt naked in public, then why don?t we just drop the law, and let everybody drop trow and get it the fuck over with? Perhaps it not okay for non celebs to get naked on the street, but you can imagine what it would be like if every celeb did so. There are a lot of celebs that nobody would want to listen to, if they couldn?t get the image of their naked bodies out of mind. Susan Boyle, naked? Oh hell no!!!!





When Madonna did her Sex book, she was childless. I doubt she could have even imagined that one day, she would have so many kids who would grow up and find her letting a dog lick her body online. God knows I wasn?t thinking of a parenting future when I was down on my luck, doing porno for a living in Hollywood, in my youth. The difference is, I did my videos on a closed set, and have never exposed them to any child. If someone really wants to see me naked, it?ll be a cold day in hell before they see it in a public video shoot.





In my song ?Faggot? I wrote the lyric ?There is nothing wrong with being naked. There is nothing wrong with showing the whole world your body.? and I still feel that way. Anyone in the world who doesn't want to see your body, should not be forced into doing so. But, personally, I do find something wrong with being naked in front of kids, on the street. I can picture the scenario in my mind of me, trying to explain to a 5 year old child, why there is a woman ripping her clothing off in front of him, in public. That?s not the kind of thing that most parents would want to have to explain to a pre schooler. Badu is the parent of multiple children. If I could ask her only one question today, it would be this.





?If you think it?s okay for you to strip naked in front of my kids, would it be alright if I stripped down in front of yours?? I already know the answer to the question, because I?ve already answered it on my end. Any artist can get naked, but it takes a person with an ounce of common sense to know when, where, and how to do it without looking like a desperate, fading has been, trying to revive a career that never got you on anybody?s A list.





I admit that I am not a fan of Badu. I don?t listen to anything she?s ever produced. She could be Beyonce or Brittney or GaGa, and I?d say the same thing about them, even though I?m a big fan. The difference is that Beyonce, Brittney and GaGa don?t need to show their tits for fame, they have talent that is recognized for it?s artistic substance. There is no trick you can pull to get talent. If it takes full, frontal, public nudity to get you famous, you ain?t an artist, you?re just another fucking stripper!





And so, I am not apologetic for my opinion on this, and I don?t expect anyone who doesn?t agree with me to be either. However, if anyone wants to call me a hypocrite for speaking up about this, they just don?t know me. We can all agree to disagree without insulting each other, calling one another hypocrites, or blocking people who you agree with 99% of the time because you disagree with them once. The guy who called me a hypocrite is just an insecure asshole who doesn?t belong on my list to begin with. Anyone who is so sensitive that they would attack me for my opinion, needs to go hide in a corner with his fucking tail tucked between his legs. I am not going to change my mind because some asshole can?t agree to disagree.

Chazonator on 2010-04-06T10:53:00.953-07:00

Jesus hates me, this I know. A fake ass Christian told me so!

?Chaz, you were so sweet, and now you just seem to do nothing but bitch and whine?




This is a comment I received from someone this morning on myspace. I make no excuses for who I am, and like everybody, I can be sweet, or I can be sour. That?s the salt in my sugar, and I wouldn?t be human if I stayed ?happy? all the time. I?d be a fucking robot. Accept me as I am or walk away, but don?t ever tell me that I have to be what you want me to be at any given time. Chazonator just doesn?t fucking work that way!



So, WTF? I?m not allowed to get pissed off or use foul language or express myself as a real person anymore because it?s not in keeping with the sweet, witty host of Naked Truth Gay News In Review? Oh hell no! Just because I tone it down in my videos, it doesn?t mean that I am any less angry about the bullshit happening to LGBT people everywhere, that I report in them. I am very angry about the state of equality, and the opposition to it in this world. I am sick and tired of these idiotic assholes who claim to ?own? marriage as a religious right. Marriage is a legal institution, and anyone who can?t see that is just blinded by their own fucking hypocrisy! If people are only meant to fuck in order to procreate, then why are there so many senior Christians dating each other? It ain?t just for the companionship! If it?s good enough for Granny, it?s good enough for me!



You know, I encourage people to find spirituality, whenever and wherever they can. I believe in God. I respect the right of others not to. I have never pushed my spiritual beliefs off on anybody. So, why in the hell should I allow anyone to push theirs off on me? I don?t! Anyone who is truly secure in the God they believe in, and the moral values they?ve set for themselves, will not be out bashing others who think differently. I know the difference because I have friends of all religious persuasions. I respect my Christian, Muslim, Jewish and Hindi friends, and those of all other faiths, as long as they respect me. I give what I get. That?s the way it is. For as long as none of these friends is outwardly expressing animosity towards me for who I am, or what I believe, then I will never challenge or question their beliefs. It is only when I am confronted by someone who claims religious superiority over me, while insulting my right to be the free, adult that I am, that my claws come out, and then, it?s fucking on!!!!!





I am not a Muslim, Christian, Jew or Hindu. I am a person who believes in God in my own way. I do not promote my beliefs, but I don?t put up with anybody who doesn?t respect them either. I can cut a person into 1000 metaphorical pieces and leave them laying where they stand with my words. If they didn?t hear me the first time, they will feel me by the time I am done, and they will never forget it. The God I worship doesn?t deny me the right to defend myself. I don?t turn the other cheek. I take an eye for an eye, and I take no regrets with me when it?s over. I will never apologize for slamming my front door in the face of anyone who violates my space, my comfort zone, or my spiritual beliefs. They will be sorry they didn?t take no for an answer when they had the chance. If their God is so fucking powerful and mighty that HE could create everything in existence, then why the fuck does he need door to door sales people? Hasn?t he heard of the Internet?



Now I hate to say it, not only because I grew up Christian myself, but because I have a lot of Christian friends. At the risk of pissing some of you off, I gotta tell you that I do not believe in the bible. That doesn?t mean that I think less of anyone who does. It just means that I follow a different spiritual path than you do. Since going public with my sexuality in 2007, as a radio DJ and indie recording artist, I have received a lot of flack from people. I?ve been verbally gay bashed more times than I can count. 100% of the gay bashing I?ve received has come from people who identified themselves as Christians. It took me over a year to understand that these assholes are a vocal minority, and that the vast majority of Christians are amazingly kind hearted people who follow the word of Jesus Christ, first and foremost. Jesus Christ, as I learned from my own Christian upbringing, was never recorded to have said anything negative about homosexuality. Jesus was known as a forgiving, loving, accepting and gentle man. Homophobia is not Christ like, and nobody can prove that it is. Yet, this fact never stopped any of these ?Christians? from cussing me out and calling me a faggot. If that?s the only impression that Christ is making on LGBT people, and it often is, then it?s no wonder there is so much tension between gays and Christians in this world. I admit that I still struggle with myself when it comes to fighting off ?Christian? hate. I feel baited into perpetuating the battle by having to defend myself against someone who is using the most interpreted and translated book in history against me. It?s an endless and fruitless debate that gets no where, and I?m sick of it. I don?t care who you are or what your religion is, if you start preaching it against me, I will pick it apart and leave you to put it back together in your head, and don?t think I won?t point out the missing pieces. If there?s one thing that I do share in common with Jesus, it is the fact that I am a philosopher. If it doesn?t make sense, I won?t point it out unless I?m insulted into doing so by somebody ignorant. Believing that Jesus existed doesn?t make me a Christian. Accepting him as my lord and savior would do that. And while I?ve not done so, nor do I intend to, I cannot ignore the legacy of Jesus Christ, the historic figure whose life has been overly documented. Verses from the book of Leviticus, however, are like my shiny, little, Chinese stars. I won?t hesitate to wield them accordingly when anyone says, ?Man shall not lay with man?. Leviticus is loaded with really stupid rules that no sane person in a civilized, modern society could live by. The New Testament condemns divorce, incest, and even stealing more than it does homosexuality. So, when people tell me to read the bible, I tell them to go read theirs, because there?s one passage that makes a hell of a lot of sense to me. ?Judge not, lest ye be judged!!!?



The God I worship doesn?t restrict my ability to say the word fuck. My God doesn?t instill any desire in me to judge any other person, but I was born to defend myself. So, when the bible says, ?Judge not, lest ye be judged?, I?m not going to wait for God to judge anyone who judges me. I?m on them like stink on shit. My pride is stronger than anybody?s hate.





Anyone who has a problem with my use of profanity, or choice of spiritual belief doesn?t have to stay around and watch me dig my tunnel to hell. There are many souls out there that can be ?saved?, but when judgment is a part of the ?saving?, it actually drives people away from your God. I actually feel sorry for my gay, Christian friends who have been rejected by their own religious institutions. There is nothing Christian about kicking gays out of your church. Had Jesus been that hateful, I doubt we?d even know his name by now.



Lastly, let me just say that I know atleast one Christian man who has sex with his wife, and I don?t think they?re shooting for another kid either. Is it my right to judge him for this? Absofuckinglutely not! Who am I to tell anybody who, when, how or why they have sex with another human being? And so, for anyone who still just doesn?t understand my defensive position on the issue of religious harassment, just imagine that anyone, of any faith that you do not follow, telling you who, when, where, or why you should have sex with anybody. Wouldn?t that piss you off too?

Chazonator on 2010-04-02T12:41:52.271-07:00

Reverend Phelps, I can't wait to picket your funeral!!!

It is a rare moment that I find myself agreeing with anything that Fox News Network?s Bill O?Reilly says or does. I go from right to left with my news viewing by flipping between MSNBC and FOX News, and I never, ever watch CNN anymore. There isn?t an anchor on either network that I find really interesting. In fact, I find the most of them to be overly made up, animated talking heads. It?s all about ratings and the hosts, and very little about the news these days. It?s not called ?The News? anymore, it?s called ?O?Reilly Factor? and ?Rachel Maddow Show? etc. I don?t give a crap if Roger Ebert is giving me the news in a robot voice, I just want the facts! More information, less grand standing entertainment. However, I can?t sit back and ignore the fact that O?Reilly has offered to do something very sweet. Bill O?Reilly has said that he will pay the court costs of over $1,600 for the father of a fallen soldier who is suing the Westboro Baptist Church for picketing his son?s funeral.




Reverend Phelps and his church-full of hateful, homophobic busy bodies have become world famous for their hateful picketing of the funerals of gays who died, as a result of hate crime. They picketed Matthew Shepard?s funeral. When they picketed the funeral of a fallen soldier with signs that said ?God Hates America?, they crossed a line with mainstream America. Their hate language, disguised as freedom of speech, is being combated on a number of levels. The father of this soldier described how dozens of bikers road in to the rescue, creating a barrier between the hateful ?Christians? and the grieving family and friends of a real American hero. The God Hates Fags people got a dose of exhaust fumes for their trouble that day, but they also got served a lawsuit by the father of the soldier. While this case is on it?s way to the Supreme Court to determine whether or not freedom of speech extends to hate speech at funerals, the church has already received a victory that will be appealed. The 4th District Court of Appeals ruled that Albert Snyder, the father of the fallen Marine, must pay the court costs of the case. Donations have been pouring into Snyder from people who disagree with the court?s ruling. His attorney says that any extra money donated will be given to veterans.



We all have freedom of speech and expression and these rights should never be taken away or taken for granted. At the same time, we all have a responsibility to society to utilize our language responsibly and not in a way that harms innocent people. What the God Hates Fags, fake Christian idiots are doing is harmful. Freedom of speech and religion and the freedom to bash others are separate things. If our court system is so screwed up that they choose to promote the kind of hate language that groups like this use in public, then we need to get rid of the judges who make these decisions. The best way to do this is to force them to resign by picketing them with the same vigor and animosity that Phelps and his inbred, hillbilly fucktards use. Let?s picket the fuck out of these judges until they see the light! After all, they are the ones giving us the right to hold up signs that say, ?God Hates Idiotic Judges?. Why let such freedom go to waste? And since it?s okay to picket the funerals of our service members and gay activists, I am already working on my sign for when old Phelps kicks the bucket, hopefully from something horrific and painful and slow and tormenting, like anal cancer! You can bet your ass that?s one funeral I wouldn?t miss for the world. He?s so old and feeble that God will surely remove him from our misery, naturally, within the next decade. There will be a gay parade across his grave friends, and I will be right there marching in it! I can?t wait to put a cigarette out on it, and stomp it into the dirt really good. God doesn?t hate anyone, but somehow, I can?t imagine that God would have a problem with an asshole like Phelps taking his place in hell while real Christians struggle to rebuild their public image after all the damage he?s caused.



We all need to stand up to bigotry, even if it?s not spelled out on a sign. We must never allow anyone to bully us into a corner or compound our grief at any given moment. We must fight back with all the power we have, and with equal ferocity. The Westboro Baptist Church is nothing more than a hateful old bastard and his rotten kids and their fucked up friends. We can be louder. We can be fiercer. We can beat them, anytime and anywhere. Let?s not wait for a judge to decide anything. Let?s take a stand and show up at any funeral these assholes picket that we can, and create a barrier between them and the innocent people they target. We gays can learn a lesson from those bikers. There are enough bikers among us to fill any street in the country. Let?s show these assholes that the only thing they can accomplish with all their hate is wasted time. If you send someone an e mail, and it doesn?t go through, how many times will you keep trying to send it? Eventually, Phelps and his sister cousins will stop their crap when they realize that nobody is listening anymore because nobody can hear them!